I've been so dumbfounded lately. First off, it's awful I never write in this to the amount of which i really want to, it's something that you really have to have a habit for, a habit in which I really would like to create, the ideas come as quickly as they go then, and the problem is all me not willing to take the time to do it. See, the honest truth. It's not spectacular or anything, but the truth can be sexy, thrilling, or just plain boring. We've all heard lines such as "fiction's where genius lies" and honestly I've been a victim to such things. I lied a ton growing up, not like crucial things that could cause harms, yet they were little small white lies that either made myself sound more interesting, or something that just seemed better than the truth. I hate that I was that way, I hate that part of me still hides somewhere within me and rears it's ugly head at the worst times. It has to be evident in me too whoever I do it too, I literally have to pause and run the little monster away in my head. It's the one of the worse demons that we have to face in our lives I believe. That's right I know I'm not alone in such a problem. We all do it. Some more than others (set case me between the ages of 5-18) I was completely awful, but I know it only has aided in building the person that I am today.
But the most awful thing is starting to become apparent to me; we hate the truth. The truth gets me in trouble more than the small lies ever did. I thought it was the key factor in letting us free of worries, but instead it gives me more sleepless nights and moping hearts than anything else I've ever encountered in my entire life. I told myself that I need to be completely honest about everything in my life, and generally I usually am. I've even been told that I'm too honest at times now, another thing that just shakes my mind like no other. We are givens truths for a reason. It has always been our decision whether or not we follows these truths and carry them out and speak to their good name, or that we darken then and distort them into whatever our horribly clever minds decide that they ought to be. I'm no saint, I still throw down the white lie time to time, but there is one major difference in what I do now. I despise the fact I did it. After I do it I just want to go up to the person and tell them what I said was a farce and that I'm sorry for being that way. Yet I do nothing. Why does truth have to become something on the lines of nonsense. have we just gotten to the point in our society that anything else we can make up can just supplement as the truth? Or is it we just no longer hold the same value in the truth as we do a good story? I really have no idea, but I know I am always going to try to be honest with myself, with you, and with the rest of the world. I really do think it is one of the most important things we can do for each other.
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But the most awful thing is starting to become apparent to me; we hate the truth. The truth gets me in trouble more than the small lies ever did. I thought it was the key factor in letting us free of worries, but instead it gives me more sleepless nights and moping hearts than anything else I've ever encountered in my entire life. I told myself that I need to be completely honest about everything in my life, and generally I usually am. I've even been told that I'm too honest at times now, another thing that just shakes my mind like no other. We are givens truths for a reason. It has always been our decision whether or not we follows these truths and carry them out and speak to their good name, or that we darken then and distort them into whatever our horribly clever minds decide that they ought to be. I'm no saint, I still throw down the white lie time to time, but there is one major difference in what I do now. I despise the fact I did it. After I do it I just want to go up to the person and tell them what I said was a farce and that I'm sorry for being that way. Yet I do nothing. Why does truth have to become something on the lines of nonsense. have we just gotten to the point in our society that anything else we can make up can just supplement as the truth? Or is it we just no longer hold the same value in the truth as we do a good story? I really have no idea, but I know I am always going to try to be honest with myself, with you, and with the rest of the world. I really do think it is one of the most important things we can do for each other.
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